ADVERTISEMENT

• (408): View more from California

  Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions

  Fav 100 7607 1556

  share tweet
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.

  Fav 13 6080 1154

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.

  Fav 10 6053 1474

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water

  Fav 24 7191 1299

  share tweet
  

• (916): View more from California

  This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here

  Fav 16 5184 1435

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.

  Fav 7 3125 1194

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (937): View more from Ohio

  You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  I can do at least one of those things.

  Fav 2 2032 688

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?

  Fav 10 1843 1094

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?

  Fav 1 1008 694

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.

  Fav 7 1645 634

  share tweet
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  Don't make emojis simulating eating me out

  Fav 5 989 630

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (361): View more from Texas

  I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.

  Fav 0 746 436

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"

  Fav 3 968 419

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.

  Fav 4 541 352

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you

  Fav 0 80 10

  share tweet
  

Randomize