I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
