ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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