Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Randomize
