She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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