ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
