apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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