i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I had to cum in my sink.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
