yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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