let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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