yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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