real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize