YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
