we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
