I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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