You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
