I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have post one night stand depression
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
