R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
