Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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