You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
