From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
