Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
