Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
