Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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