I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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