i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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