Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
