please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
