Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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