so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
