Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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