Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I could fuck to npr.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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