I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
