PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
