it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
