Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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