Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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