So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
