can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
