I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
