just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
