it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
