I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
