also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
