The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
