so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
MIDGETS
????
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
