problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
