my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
