I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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