It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
